The end of Boston

So to finish off with Boston we had a delicious lunch at BOLLOCO (Boston Local Company) burito bar, and spent time in the JFK Library (a must if you ever visit Boston), and then Penny wanted to take pictures of famous peoples graves. Not Michael Jackson or Elizabeth Taylor, more founding fathers (yawn), so we saw John Handpenis (Hancock) and Samual Adams (always a good decision) graves.

Then came four loco, we decided to have one each before a night out, *disclaimer, don't! We met Hiro in a bar and after 2 or 3 more drinks I blacked out and next thing I know I'm awake in my bed with possibly the worst hang over to date.

Penny however had a much greater adventure, the bar Dillans is 300 yards up the road and you can see it from our hostel. Penny couldn't remember where the hostel was (I blame four loco) and ended up getting a taxi to Fenway (half a mile passed our hostel and proceeded to walk back, and get more lost. Four loco is evil and has now been banned from my body!

Saturday we attempted Harvard in the heat while hung over and we proceeded to give up quite quickly, which is a shame as I have such fond memories. I then slept away most of my hang over and went for drinks and dinner at the North Market at Quincy, and Winders joined us for food and 'Chowda'!

Sunday we left for DC.

The Golden Beaches of the Cape

Thursday we were meant to get up at 6.30am to get a train out to the airport to collect a car, and in true fashion neither of us slept well and were awake long before this. The journey out to collect our car was frustrating and as such when collecting the car I decided to get on the road and failed to adjust my mirrors or assess the car for damage(did so later, all was fine).  We had a pale green ford focus that was a reliable drive but looked like an item of clothing your ageing style-less Aunt has bought you for your birthday and insists on you wearing (Disclaimer: my Aunts are neither ageing nor style-less, and in fact do buy nice clothes).

On our first toll the guy asked if 'your plates are regular', if anyone knows what this means please put it on a stamped address envelope to the usual address. On the way to the very end of the Cape we pulled off 3 times to get coffee for the weary driver (me), but first we found K-Mart, which I imagined would be Asda's retarded gay niece, and two roads that promised fast food chains that after miles of driving never appeared, so we cracked on.

For those of you who don't know, Provincetown is where the gay pilgrims landed and immediately set up flashy boutiques and luxury food stores, bought very small dogs (presumably off some very confused Native American Indians, which I assume was the birth of the Village People) and donned their uniform of tank tops and short shorts very proudly. In short we arrived in glorious sunshine, had a look around, which was nice but decided to leave when we were offered a pedicure from a very openly homosexual man who I imagine was called Xavier or Hensel. I have nothing against homosexuals, their food is excellent, their style to some extent is very good and they are a very clean type of person, however this wasn't Brighton's very subtle gay undertone, this was Big Gay Al's village and everything was 'Super, thanks for asking!' and had a vibe of 'we work hard, we play hard!'

We spent the afternoon at Nauset Beach, just up from Orleans, it was amazing. Beautiful weather, beautiful people, the beach was stunning and the water was warmer than Lake Michigan. 

We bought lunch from Provincetown so needless to say the pasta pot was fantastic. Then after a few hours of converting our backs into back-bacon we decided to drive the long way around the Cape via Falmouth back to Boston. It was in short a wonderful view of all the creeks and boatyards the Cape is famous with, and every town we went through you could smell the seafood restaurants pumping out the fumes of baked clams and other seafood to entice weary travelling in like sirens and wreck their back accounts.

If you know me a little, you will know I am a huge follower (can't say fan all the time) of the Kennedy's and these little creaks made my mind wander to what the cars they would drive up the routes and what spoilt or philanderous antics they would get up to on the tiny off roads.

On the way back we managed to take a wrong turn for the airport (which avoided the toll) and I ended up driving around downtown Boston's financial district which was at the time intimidating but immediately after very funny. We capped the night off with some beers in the room (don't tell the hostel) and a looooooooooooooooong sleep. 

*Dedicated to the steal workers of America, Keep reaching for that rainbow!

Boston for Chowda

So we flew to Boston on Tuesday, and traditionally American airports are farcical but this was a joke. They made only men go through the full body scanner, and women didn't have to. After spying on my junk the security guard gave me a solitary nod and a thumbs up. Unfortunately when Penny went through the guard burst into hysterics and got other members of staff to come over to point and laugh, either Penny has spent to much time in Asia and it has effected his anatomy or it could be the sandwich he keeps in his armpit 'for later'! They should have given him some lipstick, because he likes to look pretty when he is being screwed. Anyway they stopped my knee brace and rescanned it as it could be dangerous but allowed Penny's Chinese walking stick through that could easily be used to bludgeon someone. We got in late and had a quiet one with pizza and beer.

Wednesday we took a trolley tour around Boston which was good fun, we had New England Clam Chowda (I'm going to enjoy this!) at Quincey Market, visited Faneuil hall, briefly saw the USS Constitution known as 'Old Ironside', the state house and all the historical sites. It was very clear that Boston loves to hold a grudge against the British and pump out plenty of one-sided history about the build up to and the start of the 'American' revolution. I like Boston as a city but it very much tries to be a one track town in terms of history.

We also went to the Bruins Stadium fresh from their Stanley Cup win, and Penny as a huge Ice Hockey fan (he was involved in the Vancouver riots, I will testify for a reduced sentence off my future crimes) wanted to see the cup and shop but it was closed for stock take, they should have taken him to dinner, because he likes to be wined and dined before he is screwed.

So after this we had a drink at the Cheers bar, where everybody is a tourist and nobody knows your name, that inspired and then was renamed after the hit 80's series.

We followed this with a harbour (or harbar in a Bostonian accent) tour which once again reiterated Boston and America great, UK bad. If you haven't got that yet!

By the time this had all finished we had been in the sun all day and needed to chill, so more Pizza and Beer. We met a lovely (loosely used) couple from Watford who proceeded to talk to us regardless of me constantly reminding them we just took their manager. Earlyish night for a 6am start to rent our car and drive to the Cape.