Where do we go? Where do we go now?

So with the weekend over and the undesirable final of France versus the All Blacks I set about returning to my normal lifestyle, doing sweet FA to save money before the boys arrive. But I'm sure there were a few jaunts left in me, the only question is where do we go now?

The lovely Lisa Mansel was pushing for a trip to Rotorua and I finally obliged and asked the girl from the other night, Sheavaun, if she fancied a jaunt.....she did! I booked everything on the Monday and while I was still in PJ's at midday my host, Nick, decided to put me to work and I spent the rest of the afternoon bleaching and washing the decking on the front balcony and afterward felt I had earned my first beer so far on the trip, which due to the lack of activity felt very good.

I woke up on Tuesday after some fairly vivid gangster dreams and met Shevaun in Auckland for lunch in the Elliot street stables. While waiting for my bus in I got soaked through in one of the random but heavy Auckland showers but the chicken fettucini at De Niros soon cheered me up. Lisa had gone ahead on an earlier bus but Shevaun was working so we caught a later one. I tried the drinking underneath a jacket thing and it was going so well until I got a little bit pissed and dropped the bottle on the floor, it didn't break but loads of people looked, to which I announced loudly nobody saw that, and everyone just looked away, great success! This trip reminds me very much of my 2008 Havoc and Chaos tour of the USA, the idea was to hit the polynesian spas then get intensely drunk and up to whatever mischief we could find. We managed to upgrade our room for free as the one we were put in was already full. We had a few of the cheap beers at the hostel and went to the polynesian spa. It was unbelievably refreshing, hot water mineral baths, loads of French and Japanese but amazing views and I managed to chill out nicely.

After that refreshment we bought a box of wine and went back to the hostel to get squiff on the cheap before heading out to see what the night could bring. We shared our room with an Aussie Army tracker who had some amazing views on left wing backpackers but had a genuinely cool job learning how to hunt and track animals or people in the bush. After getting considerably intoxicated we went to Lava lounge round the corner for more refreshment but the atmosphere was dead so I returned to the hostel. In short I was El Bollocko, ARP serviced and I behaved as badly as I can when Mr Hyde had taken his wonderful elixir. I woke in a highly groggy state and quickly packed up before continuing my Hydesque tendencies on the bus before passing out. I got back to the North Shore and passed out for four hours before a much needed roast dinner with the family, including Katie, Toni and Jasper.

My only concern now was whether or not to fork out a mere $100 to see Wales versus Australia in the 3/4th place play off, I really want to but thats a lot of beer money. I have the promise of champagne from Shevaun if Wales win....and probably anyway if not because in short I have the moves like Jagger (*disclaimer - I am full of shit). So while I was deliberating I got an email from my former employers saying the project that I basically came up with the base idea has received funding and now has a position available paying well FML. My Hawkes Bay trip also got cancelled as my boy Ben was ill, I went shopping and then had sushi before Chardonnay in the sun.

I then received the call granting me a ticket, it was a good day, Gaddafi was dead and I had a Bronze Final ticket. I sat back down to finish off my wine in the hot Auckland sun. I went to the game and we lost, it didn't seem like their hearts were in it.

I went off to a party in Mt Eden and crashed there, was good, plenty of champagne and cider...was most intoxicated!

The next day I left Mt Eden and was supposed to meet my hosts but as there was no response I got in touch with Deano for some shenanigans. We went to the Queens Wharf fan zone and had a beer before trying the kicking game (slotting one this time) and the Heineken drink driving game (I crashed whilst trying to drink whilst driving). We then went off to get cheap beer at a Japanese off license and messed with the guy until he asked us to leave. As Auckland has a liquor ban we couldn't drink on the street so we decided to try and drink in a hostel, fortunately we were next to Nomads hostel so went in and as we weren't guests we sat on the stairs at the top and boozed. A member of staff walked past while in mid chug and we thought we were busted but the lovely Dutch girl covered her eyes and told us she hadn't seen anything, nice one! After the drink we went looking for Leanne, Deanos mate from Kiwi experience, while we were looking Deano spotted this stunning blonde and casually went over and insisted he had met her on the Kiwi experience, she said he couldn't because he had just got off a cruise (her bags had P&O all over them) but he still pushed that she had been on the bus, very funny! We got chatting so we decided that this may be a good meet and greet until Deano tried it on this stunning brunette and scared the poor rabbit away.

We met Leanne and had some more drinks before meeting Deanos other mates, drink was free flowing by now so I dont remember everything but Deano used the gang rape joke while trying to chat up a girl, while my line was 'you have alot of teeth, and a jokerish smile' smooth I know. We met some girls who worked in pharmasuticals, one in botox and during the binge we somehow managed to form a botox for bollocks campaign, don't as me how! I also started telling people I was an underwear model and even managed to convince Deano, but still got the amazing phrase 'no chance in my pants but I like your company' from Leanne. After that bar we went to 1885 an upmarket bar and as it was the night before the final it was rammed out, it was good for a while but I was way too drunk by then. Deano and I went outside, found a police bollard and scrummed down with it, needless to say  we went straight to ground and I hit the floor hard and stayed down until the police showed up. We moved the bollard back and they told us to behave and we asked them to scrummage, they said they would like to but were on duty so couldn't. I said goodbye to Deano and crashed back at Mt Eden again.

I woke feeling rough and got the bus up the North Shore where I wallowed in my own crapulance until the world cup final. Town was already rammed when I left so I decided as there was no way to get back from down town Auckland and as I hadn't changed and was feeling rough faux home was better than staying out. It wasn't the best final but the better team won and hopefully we won't have the twenty-four years of hurt comments any more. Key memorable moments of the final didn't happen during the game, an interviewer called Thierry Dusautoir, Thierry Henry, Richie McCaw saying 'I'm totally shagged' in his post match interview and the embarrassing England 2015 promo. My issue is if Wales made that final I think we would have had a very good shot at winning it. So after seeing 46 out of 48 games, attending 9 the world cup was over and I fell into a great nights sleep.

The next day after Nick calling me a 'little shit' several times, his term of affection, we looked online and found out that Marco Simoncelli of super bike had died, just days after Dan Wheldon died in F1 in Vegas, not a great week for motor sport. I FB chat conferenced with Pen and Stones to organise our New Zealand travels and then got a call from Mugsy offering me work on his dairy farm in Whangarei and then a place to stay over the weekend while he was in Australia including use of a car and hot tub.

We got up at 5am to drive up to the farm, which is the earliest I have gotten up for anything since Cape Cod, what feels like years ago. On the way up Mugsy was pulled over for speeding, we unfortunately were caught during a police sting after the holiday the previous day. To Mugsys suprise he actually had a suspended license as he hadn't reapplied when his previous suspension was over, meaning I had to drive to the farm and I managed to annoy Mugsy by not speeding for fear of a fine that I don't have the means to pay, turned into good banter though. When we got to the farm we milked the cows and then walked the vast expanse of the farm trying to fix fences.

At lunch we got Mugsy his license back and went for a cheeky pint or three before returning to the farm for afternoon milking. I had the unpleasant experience of witnessing Mugsy deliver afterbirth, which although the medical side of it didn't bother me, the smell was outrageously overpowering. Mugsy isn't happy with his helper up there who appears to be lazy, deceitful and actually works against the process, things and livestock go missing and things that are on the to do list don't get done and get forgotten about, I don't know a lot about farms but even I could see this.I got to ride the ATV/Quadbike and got a bollocking off Mugsy as in my attempt to not get told off for driving too fast I drove too slow and off the path.  We stayed with a lovely Maori family in Whangerei and had take away for dinner, with plenty of beer.

We woke again farmer early and heading across misty Whangerei in the pre-sun cold to the farm, where a message from the night before had sunk in. A pipeline had burst in Maui in Taranaki meaning that all milk processing had to be cancelled meaning millions of litres of milk had to be poured away, including all our hard work from the day before. I helped Mugsy jump start a tractor down a hill by scrummaging with it. We then ran tractor errands and did the morning milk (which due to the failure to mend the gas main was poured out again). We also had to put three calfs out of their misery as 'they gave up on life.' I was offered to kill one and as it was a farm I would have if it had been a knife or gun but it was a blunt object to the head, and I didn't fancy doing any bludgeoning that day. We fed the calfs and I had to catch a stray cow that got out of the yard and in between wearing me out in the chase managed to electrocute me as well. We put a calf in the boot for a lady in Waipu to raise and we came back to Auckland. I cooked Nick and Joy a ridiculously hot curry as a thank you and moved my stuff to mugsys to house sit and feed the cats while he was in Australia.

I woke early again to give Mugsy a lift to the airport but he informed me that he was parking at the airport, so I got up for no reason. I gave Deano a lift to the airport and settled in for an evening of Halloween prep tv.

Just going to house sit and enjoy some tv and the hot tub until the boys turn up over the weekend and our party starts for Halloween and rolls into our road trip.

Thats rugby....thats all it is.

So I had to seduce myself to sleep with my friend Mr Alcohol as I honestly think the anticipation would keep me awake all night. I had a long lie in, in preparation for a late night, kick off being at 9pm. I spent the morning bantering with friends around the world whilst drinking plenty of tea. When asked what my plans were I replied 'drink tea until a time where it becomes redundunt and move onto something stronger'.
I had a hearty lunch that turned to disaster, I had a bowl of chili and a pizza however I was particularly tired when I went down and got the wrong change so ended up paying $20 for some shitty $3 pizza, and the receipt and balance worked out so no refund. Ah well, I was well fed. Around 3.30pm I headed to Auckland city, at the bus stop there were loads of Kiwis in Wales replica shirts or wearing daffodils, a very moving sign of support from the host nation. I got into town and the train out to Remeura to be picked up by mugsy. We picked up his daughter Tanyka, from the airport, fresh from her 21st and finishing Uni in Dunedin! It was quite hilarious watching Mugsys road rage as we were running a little late and Mugsdy lost it with a Learner in the fast lane, I had to bite my lip to stop from shrieking with laughter. We made it over to Kingsland for a pre match drink and I found out Mugsy and his wife Tena had given up their tickets so I could go, I was dumbstruck by their generosity but was preparing not to accept this offer when Dave said he had bought them tickets as a surprise thank you for letting him stay with them.

I ended up sitting with Tanyka behind the posts which turned out to be pretty reasonable seats. The only problem was no cover and we had a huge downpour just before kick off soaking us to the bone. 

The game was obviously marred by the dubious sending off of Sam Warburton our Captain, and will forever go down as one of those what could have been moments. With fourteen men Wales rallied and played out of their skins but missed vital kicks and had a terrible time at the line out, France had no response and played a boring negative kicking game. Unfortunately the referee didn't see the number of penalty infringements in the build up to the end of the game and we just didn't have it in us to cross the whitewash again. We dropped out of the World Cup 9-8. I feel bad for players like Shane Williams who was truly gutted and will  now never get another chance. I guess that's rugby, that's all it is.


Leaving the stadium I managed to get on the new Zealand Herald fan section, shouting 'they didn't deserve it!' and I still maintain they didn't. It's approximately 1 min 6 secs in(below).


http://www.nzherald.co.nz/rugby-world-cup/news/video.cfm?c_id=1503158&gal_cid=1503158&gallery_id=122183



After the match we went back to Clares, an Irish bar to drown our sorrows and I met a nice kiwi family from Irish descent and had a few beers with them and exchanged numbers with one of them with the promise of a tour of Auckland. We had an interesting trip back to mugsys via Wendys where Dave got out of the car in the drive through and asked stupid questions to the bemused late shift staff. We got back and I watched the end of 'Diamonds are Forever, and feeling uncomfortably numb I went to sleep and subsequently dreamt of Jill St.John the Bond girl from that film.

I woke feeling particularly optimistic, I had taken stock and the sun still rose and the birds still sung, not the end of the world but still felt as if our opportunity had been taken from us. Although I felt a weight has been lifted and the anticipation and anxiety no longer keeping me on edge I was able to sleep comfortably for the first time in weeks. I made my way back to the North Shore and settled in for a quiet night watching the All Blacks secure a final spot over the Aussies.

Living the Dream: Great Moments, come from great opportunity!

So Wales are in the World Cup Semi final and my trip no longer holds the same anxieties of whether I made the right choice to come, nothing quite like a bit of validation, thank you Mr Gatland.

So I was meant to spend a day sleeping off that disastrous bus ride but instead I got a call from Mugsy Sr, Ieuan Moorcraft and Dave telling me to get my ass down the fanzone in Auckland as Ieuan only has a few days before he left. So I ran a quick couple of chores and jumped on a bus down to the fanzone, and found them in the bar tailored in wales jerseys causing the usual ruckous. As funds are now a serious issue I had no intention of drinking but with the utmost respect mugsy, Ieuan and Dave they bought the drinks. After a while we went onto a virtual kicking game they had and although Ieuan and I put several perfect kicks through the computer didn't register them, Mugsys goal kicking was suitable for a prop, dreadful, and Dave managed to get the only one over when it appeared to be low and wide, who knows ay. in the shenanigans we acquired a rugby ball from the tent, which I am almost certain was not through legal means but came with us none the less. We went to get Mugsys van and rock onto the next bar but incidents in the prescence of Penarth rugby players are few and far between. When the boys were getting rid of shrapnel to pay the outrageous parking fees a well dressed Asian guy queued behind them, and after a few seconds he suggest that they pay his parking fee as well, understandably the immediate reaction was to tell him to piss off.....which was the spark. The guy, who had a strong kiwi accent regardless of his Japanese heritage, led into a barrage of four letter insults basing it on race. You White c**** this, you pommey bastards that, and my favourite, you're all the same. Mugsy and Dave quickly told him to f*** off which is what he did. Next problem the barriers froze locking all cars in. Four behind us in the queue was this obscene guy beeping his horn and screaming abuse from his car. It was embarrassing on a number of scales, he was outnumbered four to one, was tiny and his girlfriend in the car looked mortified at his behaviour. After a while of him shouting and dave baiting him, mugsy had enough and approached his car. The guy got out and grabbed a long metal tool and held it by his side as if he was going to hit someone with it. Bad Idea! People from about  four other cars jumped out and confronted him about his behaviour etc and we gave him a rough ride and he was clearly panicked although tried to keep his big boy persona. Somehow, I really shouldn't reveal, he got a hurt arm and his glasses went bye bye off the multi storey. Eventually we got out but as we were driving away dive tried to flip him off again and fell over, very funny!

We decided to cool off at a British pub called the Cock and Bull in Ellerslie, and met Tina, Mugsys wife, for a few drinks. We were invited into a pub quiz and after much deliberation we reluctantly entered under the name Mochyn Du. I pretty much carried the team with Tina dropping in a few good answers. We did well up to the final stage and were way out in the lead when we bollocksed up Kiwi Current Affairs, however we managed to scrape into the Tie-Breaker where we were asked how many people currently live in Taranaki. Which is mugsys home town, needless to say we won and Mugsy got all the credit. As I was miles away from anywhere i went to mugsys for dinner and slept on the couch.

The next day I spent a while getting back to the North shore via train and bus, not quick and not cheap. Although I did see Dave Pearson the English referee in Britomart, so he must be running the line for one of the semis or being TMO. I settled in to a few days of rest at the Gregory house and took it easy planning and cooking and trying not to drink.

I have spent the last couple of nights dreaming I was in the Wales starting fifteen and it has upped the ante, I am very nervous, brimming with anticipation and filled with excitement.

So on Friday at lunch time I managed to secure a Semi Final ticket on the cheapest level but I will be there, incredibly happy but now this has upped the nerves by about 50 and the excitement by about a thousand. This is easily the biggest rugby match I have ever seen, in importance to me and my team, just hoping we go out there and do us proud regardless of result.......after all that's rugby, that's all it is.

Thats rugby, that's all it is! - Willie John McBride.

How great I am!

With Sam our Captain we'll take the cup home!


I have been pumping myself up with these videos! And marking quotes from these like those below.


“Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can.” Vince Lombardi 




'Great moments...are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have here, tomorrow night, boys. That's what you've earned here tomorrow night. (paraphrase 
adaptation from miracle)'


'Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.' Winston Churchill

A Quarters Tale, you've got to go there to come back!

So the scene was set, Wales vs Ireland in the rugby world cup quarter finals, a game everyone would enjoy, my anticipation and anxiety were tittering on a see-saw but my excitement was undeniable.

‎72 hours of debauchery, 48hrs of Wellington Shenanigans, 24hrs on buses, 4 Quarter Finals, 1 Wales vs Ireland QF ticket.......great moments are born from great opportunity, that's what we have tomorrow night, that's what we've earned tomorrow night.


So I caught my bus a little tipsy for Mairangi bay and headed to Auckland for my naked bus to Wellington. One thing kiwis love is to pick a fight, at one stop a guy got off and confronted the driver to say he missed a stop and this wasn't one of the stops. The driver told him the bus number and all the stops which made him look stupid, but happily went on his way....any opportunity for confrontation or an argument. I met Lisa Mansell, an old camp friend from the original Jersey, by Britomart station and sculled a few cheeky beers over the quickest of catch up before I got my connection.

Due to the World Cup the roads were closed and I paniced looking for where the bus would now leave from, quickly found it and said my goodbyes to Lisa before setting off on a twelve hour bus adventure. I immediately regretted my decision, the bus was rammed out with lots of load children, I banged George Harrison 'Here comes the sun' on my ipod and sat back to watch the trip unfold. Fortunately the kids got off after a couple of stops and after some Heath ledger strength sleeping pills I managed to get a little sleep. It was funny as I was dozing off this kiwi behind me was hitting on this Eastern European chick by claiming people he was related to, what a knob, fishing without a rod, sacrament without earning! After a few hours, near somewhere like Taupo a large Irish fellow became my new seating companion and proceeded to piss me off to a new level of agitation. As I mentioned he was large, subsequently sweaty and kept nodding off and falling asleep on me. After a few times of nudging him it continued and this was one heavy guy, so I decided to go with the good old fashioned body check to bump him off, took him a good hour to get the idea. I rouse from dozing at about 5am and stayed awake till I got off the bus in Wellington at 7.30am.

I ate the pre made sandwiches I had prepared for the coach on the harbor and tried to figure out what I was going to get up to while most of Wellington slept. I ended up buying a coffee in maccas and reading for a few hours till the city started to stir. Courtenay place had been converted into a street long fanzone (booze free) but they provided entertainment and larges screens and as a result all the bars had extended zones into the street, a party was going to occur this weekend. I gave a seldom visit to the Te Papa museum again, nothing has changed on my four visits in three weeks, funny that. When it finally seemed to be hitting the right time I hit basement bar and got on their $10 jugs. The bar tender from surrey was having a rough day so poured some Jaeger shots and gave me one for free. While I was there these two older Irish guys came and ordered a drink, when the time to pay came the younger said 'no, no I'll pay for this, you pay for everything.' The other said 'that's very kind of you, now all you have to do is pay for the hookers.' I thought this was hilarious. I drank with a few Irish guys who like I always mentioned held up the great celtic spirit between the Welsh and the Irish. They dyed my hair green and we had a bit of banter before I headed to Hazels top drop off my bag. She had been a sweetheart and when I couldn't find accommodation said I could crash at hers for the weekend. After saying hi and dropping off my bag I devoured my bottle of cider in a Maccas bathroom as they don't take kindly to BYOB or street drinking and proceeded down to the docks to meet Dave Allen from Penarth who had sorted me out with the ticket. After a cheeky beer we headed off for more bars closer to the stadium and ended up on a boat. I am a little hazey on how, whether I boarded them and they let me stay or whether we were invited but they had a cash bar but loads of food for free. I had a  hot dog and steak sandwich, was a good feed in prep for the stadium.

However while i was dicking around i managed to stack it and do some ankle damage. Got to the stadium early and went over the tunnel to talk to the boys when they came out to train, yelled Powelly (Wales disgraced number 8) we love you, cause we do and lee Byrne (disgraced full back) told me to piss off. Saw Jamie Roberts and Sam Warburton coming out and said hi to Jamie and got a wave. I even shouted Joubert, Joubert at the referee and he came over and asked if he knew me, i panicked and said no. I also got to hi to Warren Gatland and said a brief thank you for everything he did in Hamilton, he and his wife sorted accommodation, food and drink for the traveling welsh fans as its Gatlands home town, don't think Martin Johnson will be doing that at the next world cup....or much at all. I was given a daffodil by a Welsh girl and threw it between George North and Leigh Halfpenny when they came off from training and i managed to coerce nervous smiles from them.

I found the guys from 'sam our Captain will take the cup home' song fame and we had a very spirited rendition in the concourse just before kick off.

So by now you all know Wales won 22-10, but it was a tense affair that Wales dominated scoring three tries to one and winning the physical battle. Wales have made the World cup Semi finals, and look good doing it. There is a strong belief in the team, the tactics seem to be right....bring on the French.

We celebrated out in Cuba Street and with the true spirit of the Irish they exchanged green for red, said we were the better team, shook our hands and wished us the best for the future.

During all this the england game was going on and they weren't even losing by this point and some England fan picked a fight with me as he claimed 'I don't like seeing the Welsh celebrate' what a complete turd which summed up England's entire world cup campaign and exit. I spent a while talking to these girls from Boston and then found out they were married, very modern, then their gay friend from wellington said I was 'pretty damn cute' a compliment indeed lol. I met Hazel at Electric Avenue, we drank and danced before crashing back at hers. TIHB.

I woke up with a pretty painful ankle, nothing broken just a really nasty bruise. I went to the farmers market on the harbor and then went for a walk. It was one of those beautiful sunny hot days in Wellington that make the wind and rain bearable.

I went to the Te Papa museum again, as the William Webb Ellis trophy was there. I am extremely hung over in the picture and was smiling but with a bright light in my face and the women I asked to take the picture taking 10-15seconds I was fed up by the time it was actually taken.

I went for a walk and got feb by heineken who were promoting their sponsorship of the world cup with a free bbq. I got a drink in Molly Malones and bumped into Collin and Dara from the opening weekend, we had a brief catch up and then they went looking for a place to stay the night. I sat outside in the sunshine, and i swear i saw Duffy walk passed, but I imagine it was Duffy wanna be. I went to basment bar and met the boys who spray painted my hair in fine form, drinking heavily before heading up to Taupo. They invited me along but with two more quarters to watch I decided not to. I hada  bit of time to myself and had a little mind trip, I really think supporting Wales is an endurance sport, such highs, such lows and so much passion.


Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Sam, Wales, and Saint David!'


I also realized rugby isn't a monogamous sport, the more you cheat and get away with it the more you are revered. I went for another walk and its amazing how much skin comes out when the sun shines. i went for dinner in Nandos and watched South africa get knocked of the World cup by Australia, although Quade 'the situation' Cooper had another rough game. it did however see an end to the long running joke of PDV and John Smit. I watched New Zealand book their Semi final in Courtenay place before catching Get him to the greek and getting a very good nights sleep.


I got up earlier than my alarm to catch my bus but was slightly worried as I had left my Ipod on all weekend so it was dead, I had fifty pages of my book to go, not exactly 12hrs of reading and managed to misplace my sleeping pills so no sleep. Twelve hours of thinking is a dangerous thing. I thought about the London Olympics and how they have conned the Uk and now will put on a lousy recession show with party poppers instead of fireworks and have the athletes run from there respective countries, maybe we'll win something then. I got back and after spending another hour and a half trying to get to the North shore in torrential rain I made it back to Nick and Joys where I was greeted by the joke:-
'An Englishman, a South American and a South African walk into a bar.....in the departure lounge'


Bring on the Semi Finals. The dream lives on!

Two Cities, Three RWC Games a bottle of Jack and a hot tub!

And it goes like this...

After a few days rest and relaxation at the Brown household, some excellent stories about the antics of my old man in his heyday, including pictures and THAT video from the 2005 Lions tour of New Zealand and me developing a new recipe for ginger chicken, I was prepped for some more rugby action. Neils son Gareth and his mate Jason picked me up around 3pm and we got ready for a long night in Hamilton for the New Zealand Vs Japan match. We parked our stuff at Hamish’s house and marched in on a pub crawl that included Keystone and the Quadrant, where we met Neil and Linda and Gareth’s cousin Rhys who used to play rugby in the Crawshays with my brother Nick. We watched the All Blacks game, and predictably it was a demolition, and soon after we joined the boys in several drinking establishments.

Not soon after I started to lag and decided to walk home, incredibly pissed, and only having seen Hamilton for about 45mins before it got dark. Amazingly I put my homing beacon on and managed to get back to Hamish’s via Mcdonalds and break into his house. This earned me the reputation as the golden lion (probably based on the hair). I passed out around 3.30am and heard the boys get in around 4.30am.

We woke to a tremendous story of confusion. Although all the boys had crashed in the same bedroom Jason had somehow woken up stark bullock naked in the living room and was so disorientated he didn’t know where he was and started opening doors and going into rooms, starkers. He went into our hosts housemates room before finding ours and re-clothing, total hilarity. I was charged with making breakfast and whipped up a good feed before we started thinking about setting off to Auckland. Hamish, a resident of Hamilton and ‘expert’ on roads to Auckland, kept giving us timings that were just so inaccurate it became a running joke ‘fifteen minutes or less’. We got to the apartment Jason and Gareth had rented and got a cab over to the Kingslander, right next to Eden park and drank our way through the first two games, I lagged but alcohol soon cleared that up. I met Chris from Fiji and we had a few cheekys before I set off with Hamish to the game.

We were luckily under cover as the rain came down hard especially in the second half. Ireland came out with a great game plan patience and heart to turn the world cup on its head and banish Australia to the runner up spot and a quarter final with South Africa. We sat next to Graham, a welsh fan from Llandudno who was about as die hard rugby fan as you’ll get, and generous with the beers.

After the game we all met (except Gareth, who went missing) and got the free train into central Auckland, which went off in a Sea of Irish triumph. We tried the Munster and Father Teds, Irish bars that we ridiculously rammed out. We ended up in bar one which was cheap, on the street so got a great atmosphere and for me superb as it had a hot tub.

So of course I got in. We hit BK and watched Jason almost get run over trying to get us a taxi back, where an Aussie fan was talking shit about getting mugged by cops. Of course we all laughed at him, to which he replied ‘wait till you come to Australia’ and Gareth replied ‘I’m not going to its shit’. Shenanigans over I crashed on the floor.

We had breakfast just out of town and then headed via the back roads to Hamilton for the game. I managed to see my old rugby coach Mugsy and his wife before heading to the ground to watch the game in a corporate box. I was gutted as I didn’t get to see Ieuan Morecraft, Rob Pierce and a few other of the boys, but did catch up with Adan dressed as a whale after the match. Being a Wales fan is tough and the game threw out all emotions and tension I could handle.

 It was a rough start but all in all we got the win we needed so I celebrated with the Browns in a casino sports bar before a sleepy drive back to Matamata and much deserved sleep.

Rugby World Cup 2011 in New Zealand; First Stop Wellington!

The flight to Auckland was reasonable and I managed to make my connection albeit (my favourite word) sitting in Auckland domestic departures that was about as exciting as an aids testing clinic and as no frills as ryanair when they decided engines were too expensive and reverted back to pedal power. I sat next to an ex-player on the flight of the golden generation and for the life of me can't remember who it was(* After Wales won the grand slam in 2012 the same player was on the Scrum V special celebrating the win, and it turned out to be Phil Bennett). I bought a phone and visited the Welsh Dragon, a welsh bar that had been converted from a public toilet. I hit my hostel bar but as it was a cockfest and blowing a cold gale outside I called it an early one and tried to get some much needed sleep. The only thing between me and sleep was the police sirens, wind rattled windows and the Korean kid in the corner watching soft core porn with no headphones in. To my utter dismay more Koreans filtered into the room and although I was clearly trying to sleep, they talked loudly on the phone, used a hairdryer, although there are extensions for that in the bathroom, and kept making those jokes to which they have a long high pitched laugh, it was ok if they were staying tomorrow, on opening ceremony night, i was going to repay the favour (unfortunately they bailed the next day).

I woke after a thirteen hour sleep to the first day of the rugby world cup and the reason for my overall trip. I went to the Te Papa museum, too early so went to collect my Wales Vs South Africa tickets at the stadium, wrong place. By this stage I was getting frustrated and when I retried the Te Pap I was too pissed off to stay and eventually found my tickets at an art exhibit of all places. I then bought a camera to replace mine that broke on day two of Fiji and went people watching. I tried to formulate a plot before I end up in jail or shot, success is my only MF’ing option, failures not.......to get out of Wellington on Monday but bit the bullet after trying to be clever and booked a twelve hour bus to matamata. I had a few pitchers with some Saffers in the basement bar where I heard the phrase ‘sneak a sunrise past a rooster’. I then went down to Wellington harbour to the fan zone and watched the opening ceremony. I also saw a woman with a Wales hat doing some filming so went over and turns out she was on S4C and tried to interview me, I gave a terrible interview in broken drunk welsh and then hit on her, but she was having none of it. I met Adan, a team mate from home and watched the first half of the rugby in the cold before heading with the boys to the warmth of a bar for the second half.

We met some Kiwi girls and after dancing with them for a while the boys bailed and I ended up going bar hopping for a few hours and I ended up going home with Hazel, a student from Hawkes Bay.

My main aim of the morning was to keep the walk of shame as interact less as possible but I was about as subtle as a member of the G8 riot police. I immediately bumped into a housemate, said my good mornings and ducked out for the comfort of my own bed. I spent the afternoon in various drinking establishments watching the underdogs come so close. Romania with a bit more game knowledge would have beaten Scotland, Namibia put on a spirited display against Fiji, Japan held France for so long and the England game was a boring waste of time. I however took Hazel out to watch the game and have some food and then we went for a drink and subsequently back to hers.

Sunday 11^th September 2011; Match day!  A years’ worth of planning, trekking mountains, crossing oceans and pissing off locals has brought me to this the 2011 rugby world cup for Wales versus South Africa in Wellington, the big one. I spent the morning packing for my 8am, twelve hour bus the next day as I was sure I would be in no state to do this after the rugby or in the morning. I then spent the rest of the morning getting pumped on the build up, great rugby speeches on youtube and left at lunch actually believing we could win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6xLYt265ZM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRgeIhaFi44

It was a mild and drizzly day in Wellington and I popped into the Welsh Dragon for a cheeky pint.

I feel that being Welsh is a state of mind as well as an identity;
We dare to dream where others subdue themselves with doubt.
We dare to believe when all hope seems lost
And we dare to come together to back our fifteen men in red take on any force large or small, with the pride and passion of our nation.
We dare!

I went with Dara and Colin, two Irish lads I had acquired, to Molly Malones for food and met Paramedic Steve to watch Ireland put on a poor display and win against a very spirited USA team. We made the walk to the stadium and parted farewell with Steve as neither of us intended to go out for more than a pint after and it would be pretty difficult to find each other as Steve was phoneless. The game, as I’m sure you know, turned out to be a classic combining good running rugby through Jamie Roberts and Toby Faletau, through great line out play by (can’t believe I’m saying this) Luke Charteris to a solid defence (in most part) with key big hitters being Sam Warburton and Dan Lydiate. Wales will regret missing some chances including Priestlands attempted drop goal 15 yards out in front of the posts and some other handling errors with the try line in sight. And if Wayne ‘dickhead’ Barnes had gone to the TMO over Hooks second penalty it might have given Wales a cushion when they were 16-10 up but it wasn’t to be, and in that case I wouldn’t be writing this I would have drunk myself into the obituaries in celebration.

 I sat a block over from Nick, the Saffer I had met in Fiji and we went on a good bantered pub crawl with Caz, whom I also met in Fiji, Caz’s brother and some of their friends.

In Molly Malones, we discovered how drunk Nick was, as he ordered five plates of chips and as there was nowhere to sit filled up the bar with the most welcome snack.

We moved on to Mish Mash and after a couple of beers were joined by Jamie Roberts, Bradley Davies, Mike Philips, Powelly and Priestland. On dropping my brother’s name to Bradley (who roomed with him in the Wales U-19’s in Italy) I initiated convo and got into their group. I also ended up in several group photos with the boys as Jamie insisted I be in the photo as Nick’s brother.

Jamie sent my dad his best (as always) and we had a chat about the controversy of the penalty ‘miss’. Jamie told me that the match ref Wayne Barnes was there and I caught him up to chat about the incident. I asked Mr Barnes, who insisted I call him Wayne (twat), what he thought and he blamed the kiwi linesman and sent me over for a chat.

Managed to get a picture with dickhead Barnes before baiting him to breaking point

After a quick chat with the lino and TMO over a pint we agreed three things:-
1 Wayne Barnes swears alot
2 I swear more
3 Wayne Barnes is a dickhead and got it wrong

I pulled all my saffer mates over and insisted on introducing them and that they should be friends as he had gifted them the game. I then got some welsh fans also to try and taunt him but as Dickhead Barnes was surprisingly charming they surcame to him and bought him shots. To which I decided I needed to go into overdrive until I managed to get the scourge of world rugby, senior dickhead to ask the bar staff to have me ejected. Great success and time to call it a night.

I woke to the same to the same world, we didn’t change anything, the sun still rose, the wind still blew and the birds still sang. What we did is show world rugby that we will fight for every inch. It was a wet walk to the bus stop and I slept most of the way to Hamilton, and with the exception of a Maori argument in the bus stop it was massively uneventful. I got to Matamata and had a chat over dinner with superb hosts, Neil and Linda Brown, old family friends. I also found out on twitter that Jamie endorsed my Wayne Barnes antics before crashing for the night.