Sunday 28 August 2011

If you're going to San Francisco.....

We left early and met Superhans, who kindly allowed us to move into his room in San Fran and did the array of washing up that we had stacked up from the camping trip and then headed down to Fishermans wharf. We hit Pier 39 and saw the sea lions before getting some chowda and making plans to make my own when I return to blighty. We then went to Jacks on the wharf for some beers and watched the San Fran Giants beat Houston at baseball. To our delight Hans' Taiwanese flatmates mother (mamma) was staying and made us dinner, and we passed the time with Gears of War 2 and a few beers before passing out to a film.

Sleep was a chore once again due to Pennys chainsaw snoring but it also helped me get up early, move the van due to strict San Fran parking laws, and also clean out three weeks of crap, while the boys slept. This bought me the morning off and after mamma prepared us a delicous dumpling breakfast the boys took the Pioneer Brian on his final trip with our company. I stayed in and had more breakfast and fresh coffee (something I really missed). After a couple of hours of being lazy I set off with the aim of meeting the boys in Union Square but as I forgot my notepad with the directions I had to go by memory. I headed down Market street (which stank of piss) and after being called a 'mothafucka' by some homeless guy for not giving him money or buying his drugs or walking his rat, I went and bought some socks and got myself lost. After finding Union Square, the boys and scouting the hostel we were moving into the next day we bought some wine and returned to Hans'. The boys played Gears while I drank a bottle of red and chilled to the stereophonics, and in true san fran style I got sedated (by booze) and listened to music, good music, my international home. In the evening we went to Zeitgistfor a few beers. It had a huge beer garden and cooked all of the food on a grill outside producing an odd combination of BBQ smell and weed. We walked home, had some beers and watched a film, once again passing out to it.

Mamma made us breakfast again and I was amazed by the way she made fried eggs with only chopsticks without breaking the yolk. We left Hans' place with Mamma offering us her house to stay in Taiwan if we visited and got the bus down Market to our hostel. Savage having stayed there three weeks earlier on his first night was greeted in infamy, everybody knew who he was. Sandra (see sleepless in seattle) had flown down to hang out and coincidentally had booked a hotel across the road from us. We booked a city tour and did a two hour loop before hitting a dive bar Penny had seen called the nightcap. It may be the scariest, grimiest establishment I have ever been to but drinks were cheap. In my slightly squiffy stage I claimed Prince William was a search and rescue pirate. We met Hans and went to Chinatown for dinner and Savage suggested that as Hans is Asian he could get mates rates. Following dinner we hiked the highest point of interest in Seattle Coit tower and went up to the top for sun set.


On the way back down the ever mischievous Sandra was ringing doorbells and running away or pulling faces or telling her stories, all of which are very entertaining (especially when you know the truth). After a couple more beers the boys went back to the hostel and Sandra and I went for a walk, but as there was nothing to do in Union Square at night except avoid the bums we went back to her hotel, only to find the fire alarm going off and three fire trucks outside. We waited in the cold till we were allowed back in. Funnily enough we had seen a spongebob doll in the gutter early and as we were going into the hotel we saw a women clearly on crack or meth walking him home.....spongebob had hit the gutter and then prostitution to fund his gary habbits.


We talked into the night again and crashed into a very refreshing sleep.

We started the next day at Starbucks where they took my name as Andreas. We got down to Pier 39 and I showed Sandra the Sea Lions which she seemed to love and then as Sandra is a free spirit we stopped at every busker and stall down Fishermans Wharf. She went on to pay for our characture and had it signed Andres and Frankenstein, after our back story that we were locals that decided to do the tourist thing as we never have before.


We were going to walk the Golden Gate Bridge but it was fogged out so we went to the De Young observetory and the Japanese Tea Gardens instead.


We then met the boys down Fishermans wharf fresh from their day to Alcatraz (which I couldn't afford but I've been before so no biggy), they were already soused and after some crab chowda we went to hooters happy hour to get the booze flowing.


Sandra pulled the waitresses number and impressed with her winging capabilities, at which I suck. A very drunk Savage claimed Tiger Sharks weren't shark and truly failed to pour a pint, spilling it everywhere several times.

After a quick change we went to a club called the cellar for $3 all night beers. Things got off to a philosophical start with sandra saying "knowing is not seeing" about the human centipede.....I'd rather just know. This chick is pretty cool so I'm writing a song about her, it's a work in progress and I can't write music so it may take a lifetime. Sandra winged again and got us talking to some cool people including Noel a really hot, sweet and fun girl from Hawaii, I saw Savages chance and did my best wingman work to see the opportunity and move away for Savage to take it.

What Savage did do was expose his testicles which Sandra got annoyed about, argued with him to which Savage pushed her in the face.....twice and was soon ejected. After a lot more booze I practically had to carry Sandra back to her hotel and put her to bed, then I found Penny outside our hostel looking sketchy. In his equally inebriated state he had bought a bottle of Bacardi and was trying to smuggle it into our hostel.....that allows you to drink. Savage wasn't in the room and based on how drunk he was and ejected I had concerns about his where abouts. Never the less Pen and I went to the lounge for a nightcap and some internet. I started talking bollocks to a French guy from Paris, genuinely trying to give him a hard time when he said you should check on your friend. I turned to see Penny face down on the arm of the chair with vom just free flwoing from his mouth. I carried my second person of the night to bed. I then proceeded to call all the local jails and hospitals to find Savage as my concerns mounted. Luckily someone found him in the hostels club asleep in a corner and the girl looking after him was from Plymouth all girls on North Hill (my uni town across the road from where I lived there). She helped me carry him to bed and Savage although bollocko managed to ask her out to which she said she was gay. After putting Savage to bed  I asked if she really was gay, to which she said 'I can be Bi, what are you doing tomorrow night?', just thought that was a great line. Well played but we were leaving early the next morning.
You'd think that would be shenanigans over for the night but oh no. I woke at 5am to the sound of splashing water not by the sink. I sat up and a naked figure was pissing on the wall, I started yelling at who I thought was Savage until I saw him asleep in his bed and the naked figure was Penny. He then went over to the only guy in our room and stood over him naked until the guy left the hostel, then even creepier he got in his bed, starkers.

Really Bear Grilling it - Rare!

I was awoken very early by douchebags on motorbikes and we got up and set off for Lake Tahoe. We stopped at Reno (baby vegas) briefly to show Savage could have a look at the degenerate gambling scene and then onto South Tahoe to our aptly named site, Campground by the lake. We went for a walk, drank beer and watched the sun go down while the flies came out in their droves to see it away. I managed to get my first hot shower in days, a luxury I didn't think I would miss as much as I did. I stole Pennys clothes and towel when he was showering but on a guilt trip returned them (as we were in the middle of the family section). Kids (and their brain dead parents) felt it was ok to walk through the middle of our assigned site even though there was a path and a road and several free sites to cross which was unnerving (would have been worse for the Beano the child snatcher). We tried to reboil the dirty rice from the night before but as it was instant rice it turned it into a rice pudding gloop we wolfed down and drank and drank, and never talked about again. We watched new Torchwood and Futurama and an old episode of Doctor Who and then talked long and loudly into the night of sports and women conquests, or famous people we met (I dropped the whole Dr Who again and again). I then prepared for sleeping outside at 6200ft, head to toes in warm clothes. It was cold but my real issue was the hard ground.

I awoke from the night with a bad back and to the noise of kid playing next to my tent (thanks to mr and mrs terrible parents, again), however the first phrase I heard was a boy saying "I totally nailed colin, that's what im talking about." Needless to say it was a shooting game but funny all the same. Pen and I hit the shops and I got a meatloaf sandwich (very nice) and then we hit Regan beach and went for a dip in Lake Tahoe.
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At this altitude the water seemed cold but it was just the air and the water temperature was very pleasant, but it meant that when you're in you stay in. In the early afternoon we took a long walk to cross the Nevada state border (also at the lake) and went to Harrahs casino (opposite the one from Smokin Aces) before returning back, not buying Savages onion. I napped before dinner and the boys preped and cooked a pasta, bean and vegetable dish, which ended up glooping together into an unattractive stodge but it tasted ok. Savage meanwhile noted the irony of Penny losing his Pen (actually Savage lost it) plunging Penny into the alanis morissette paradox debate. I built a fire, which I enjoy doing and I'm getting good at, and then we played some cards and once again drank into the night.

My dreams were once again poisoned with epic action, deceit and violence which made my daily grind seem nullified and caused my sleep to become void as the toll of my exhaustion and adventure in my conscience denied me the opportunity to rest. Having been in Tahoe for a while I realised how expensive it was but then again it offered the town experience whilst 'camping'. Based by the daily turn over our camp site seemed like a stop on the to or from Yosemite. I find it eerie that I am going to the shops two or three times a day as I have nothing to do and despite my budget I am buying things for the sake of it, and then normally cant remember what I got. That's deeply laid consumerism. I spent the afternoon blogging then played poker ( I cleaned up) and hearts (I got destroyed). We had dinner, watched Dr Who and got wasted....again.

I slept a drunk mans sleep and paid the price with a very hung over morning. I had a long think about the future and it's weird but sometimes you have to travel halfway around the world to gain perspective and clarity of what you want at home. We went swimming and I lucked out by booking a campsite the next day at the very top of Yosemite National Park.



We had BBQ for dinner and then went skinny dipping, made more exciting by being just off the main road and fully lit. I tried to get an early night but couldn't sleep, which was made worse when Penny joined me in the camper and started his chainsaw snoring. At 5.30am I was woken by a half asleep Penny who was answering natures call and quickly jumped back in the van saying he'd seen a bear in the bin. It sounded unlikely but when I looked I saw a figure move away in the twighlight. Penny then eventually got to relieve his beer filled bladder but he took his stick for protection and i kept watch.....neither of us woke or warned savage who was outside in the tent.

The Pioneer Brian had died the day before so we got a jump from the helpful people at the camp. I asked them about bears in the area and they confirmed Pennys sighting but fortunately we were all on the same wavelength and no reported the bear for fear of it being shot. We headed onto Yosemite and saw an epic forest fire in Nevada, which looked like an exploding volcano from the distance.


We also saw some huge lakes and the sierra nevada mountain range still glistening with snow. The entrance to Yosemite was at 9945ft (3031m) and our campsite at Tuolumne meadows was just under 9000ft which find a very cold night for yours truly who chose to Bear Grills it in the tent in real bear country (the tracks are obvious and warnings sincere). With a sun setting we set off on the 2.3 mile hike to Lake Elizabeth, mostly uphill which was painful being unfit, fatigued and at altitude but we made it, and it was worth it.

We saw a pair of deer drinking from the river but as the sun started to really drop off the mosquitoes brought us back to the reality of camping in the wilderness. We played cards till late and stared into the camp fire for the much needed pre-bed warmth, and then hit the tent. The night turned out to be very cold but comfortable due to my DIY blanket cocoon.

I woke around 6am from camp noise and by 8.30am the boys were up and we were on our way to Yosemite valley. It was amazing, you can see why it's a UNESCO World Heritage sight, and they provided free shuttles around the park which was helpful but did encourage (American) laziness as a lot of the stops were less than 100 meters apart. We did the El Capitan and saw the largest granite monolith in the world. When we got back we walked to Yosemite falls (I site I had visited with my family in 1992, and hold fond memories of) and climbed the giant rockfall to the base plunge pool. Without hesitation I stripped off to my boxers and jumped in, I wasn't going to come to the base without swimming. The water was cold but very soon the adrenaline of fresh water swimming in yosemite falls kicked in and I was 'warm'. I was quickly joined in the fall by Penny and Savage, and we chose to lord it over the people to afraid to get in.




I had a quick nude change behind a rock (which turned out to be in full view of about twenty people) and we free-ran back down the rock fall, jumping from one huge boulder to another (I stacked it twice, but no damage). We later caught the bus around the rest of the park seeing the sentinel, the cathedral, the three brothers and the half dome (all rock formations about 2500ft big). Unfortunately when we got back the van had died again, this time my fault for leaving the lights on. I went to the nearby garage and they wanted $28 for the charge at least $50 for time and tax, no chance. Fortunately when I returned a good Samaritan from San Diego had jumped the Van for us. We took off and followed the Merced river out of the park and passed a landslide that had consumed our supposed road all the way to Merced, a Spanish town that I didn't care for, where we set about accommodation for the night. Nowhere would take us so we decided to drive to Santa Cruz and drive north till we found a deserted beach we could kip on. Enroute to Santa Cruz in a town called Gilroy Penny's friend Felix returned his message saying we could crash at his in Palo Alto thirty minutes South of San Fran, we very graciously accepted his offer and turned around. Palo Alto is an upmarket Uni town as it hosts a number of Stanford University and is also the living quarters for a number of Silicon Valley workers. When we arrived we parked up on the main street, changed in the van and did a lap of the strip before hitting Gordon Biersch, a microbrewery Felix had recommended. It was pricey but the booze was good. We moved on to Slider bar/cafe for cheap beer and mini burgers and after getting a bit pissed got the bartender to give us a word for Beano, translate Pervertido. When we left sliders I decided to dance in a closing Thai restaurant to the faux furiosity of the 4'8'' owner. We met Felix at a club and quickly transferred to an English pub called the Rose and Crown and met some of Felix's friends, I wore a girls jacket and ripped on some Lichtensteinien guy. We crashed at Felix's flat where I burned out quickly and welcomed sleep.

The next day was a simple hang over day, we showered, did laundry, had a good go on the tv and internet and got an early night, although once again I slept poorly.

Bear Grillin it.

The next stage of our trip would return us to the wilderness and as Callie only has the Discovery channel we got pumped on Bear Grills in preparation. The previous night I had once again slept in the van on a side ride for peace and comfort but to my horror when I woke the back seat that folds to allow the mattress to come down jammed which meant we wouldn't be able to leave as planned. Fortunately as I am an early riser the boys were still asleep so Cal and I took off to the store for WD40 to work the jammed lever, unfortunately we needed squirt and the can was $15, not going to happen. So we went across the back lane to Lo's house where there were enough bikes to equip a small child gang and managed to get bike grease. After dicking around with the grease and lever, being emasculated by Callie being better at DIY stuff and spilling coffee all over myself I realised that I had jammed the mechanism with a bag nowhere near where I was looking and simply putting light weight on it released it. Drama Over. After saying our farewells to Callie, Carlos (Kyle), Eric and Mike again we hit the store racking up $175 for food and camping gear, and more importantly booze. We then headed for the deepest lake in the USA, Crater Lake. We kept climbing till we hit the rim road of the extinct volcano at 7200ft. Unbelievably in the middle of August there were still pockets of snow scattered around. When I got out of the car I felt giddy, caused either by altitude sickness or fatigue, hypochondriac I know. We looked over the crater filled with beautiful deep blue water in amazement, seriously check it out, it's stunning.
http://www.nps.gov/crla/index.htm
I returned to the van and ate my poorboy sandwich (yes it was actually called that) and we followed the rim around occasionally stopping to gaze in awe of the spectacle.


When we reached the highest point the road edge disappeared and there we were with no barrier and a sheer cliff edge a foot away from the vans tires. Needless to saying we were all bricking it, but if you haven't guessed we made it round. Unfortunately the campground near to the lake Mamza village was fully booked so we set off for pastures new. Union Creek was our unfortunate decision where a tap was a luxury and we picked the worst spot imaginable, as far away from the toilet and bins as possible. It was made worse when a local walking her dog claimed the campground was pristine, BS! The boys set up the tent and I went and paid (with Pennys money, Bear Grills rule #76 No cash machines in the wilderness.) I say tent but it was more like a mosquito net with a small awning, it would keep the rain off but allowed the wind in, not good for camping at height but all our budget could afford. In the evening the campground flooded with smoke and made my several trips to the ammenities unpleasant. The one saving grace was the creek.

After a BBQ dinner expertly prepared by Pen we played card drinking games around the fire and managed to polish off our full supply of booze in one sitting.

Savage vommed alot including mid sentence and I slept in the tent. To my entertainment I woke to find I had written drunken notes, which included:-
*Message sister about Mardy Bum (a favourite song of ours)
*Get Stoney to message Scissor Sisters with respect for canning album (that they spent 18months writing and recording) because they didn't believe in it, you'd be proud.
*If I get the right to a funeral I want Norb (my younger bro) standing on my coffin playing knocking on heavens door with an electric guitar.
And my favourite
*Slept in tent, h8 it Bear Grills head.
Contrary to this I was comfortable, warm and slept well.

The next day we left at 8am for Lake Shasta in California, very tired and very hung over and having miscalculated the distance an easy two hour drive turned into a four and a half hour epic. We drove through the town of weed, and had to stop and it genuinely was a hippy establishment, very funny. We got to a camp ground on the edge of Lake Shasta and cooled off with a swim, and enjoyed nature and cards until the evenings entertainment arrived. A hick family complete with tatooed oldies, children playing in the road, bull dogs fighting or getting over by drunk hick sons on motorbikes and heavy boozing but heavier arguing. We carried on playing cards and I tried to convince Savage that his eyes were further apart than his nipples, to my delight he measured. I made a Chilli which was so so as we could only cook it once and not let it mellow in its flavours over a few hours. We went for another swim, this time at a secluded spot and for no reason other than reporting it I swam a big rock across the creek, my competitive nature being either to win or drown, I won! After the swim I took a while to think about life and I realised that my impatience is a problem, I struggle to sit still and on several occasions of down time I cracked on and started the dinner/fire hours before I should have and we have nothing to do after. I must also note my thanks to Savage (and earlier in the tour Penny) for allowing me to hijack his phone for un-travel related reasons (girls).

Also some other realisations I had during my wilderness downtime is that nothing stays the same and as we grow our priorities and feelings change, friendships and relationships falter, restructure or become more cohesive, people can and generally do come and go but we must live in the now and plan for the future the best we can. Although in the same respect the future must be observed positively but never over planned as variety and spontaneity tend to be the moments of fondness and adventure that we recollect and regal of. Have goals, but not too many, have dreams but not too specific and if you look before you leap what you can achieve is limitless.

After my moments of Zen the band started up and Johnny son of a bitch next door decided to start scrapping with his dad and brother. Repeated shrieks of 'do you want to go back to jail' and 'you beat my mom infornt of me you bastard' echoed out into the otherwise still night. Then they started properly fighting, twighlight was turning to evening, a glowing moon had risen over us and the glow of the fire gave way to the backdrop of these people battering each other. Man on man, man on woman, goat on jew ( I think), as cries of get the gun or call the police came from which ever side was losing at that given point. Fortunately by this stage the children had been ushered away as it wasn't pleasant to watch......just entertaining. We felt helpless, with no signal and too drunk to drive (and especially after the last time I did the right thing I had my face rearranged) all we could do is watch it unfold and hope no-one was killed. Fortunately they finished with only death threats and by 10pm had all left in small groups. A full moon and a cloudless sky greeted their departure and created a light that outshone our lantern, and looked beautiful over the still lake (although the houseboats at the other end continued to party till late).



We returned to our site to see that Johnny son of a bitches sight had already been filled but they had managed to crash into the spot taking out a tree with them. Very funny, but I thought that that was a good time to call it a night and clambered back into the tent.

The ground was hard but the temperature nice so although I got a bad back, I got up early, read my book, went for a walk and prepared left over Chilli for lunch. We went skinny dipping, then swimming and I saw a Brown snake in the water next to Savage, no-one believed me till I got of the water as a precaution, then they moved. Back at the camp we played cards, I sucked and threw a hissy, then my chair, but fortunately while i was sitting out a few hands I managed to book the next four nights at Lake Tahoe. That night I tried to spray insect repellent but once again got a lungful. Our neighbours at the camp were two Californian couples in their senior working years but seemed to be having a great time, so I obviously perceived they were and dubbed them as the swingers. In the evening they gave us glow sticks and the materials to make smores, which was very kind, then I presume they went off to swing.

Wednesday 17 August 2011

Sleepless in Seattle

On Sunday we were aiming to go to Portland for the night but we struggled to find accommodation so after toying with the idea of getting a train from Tacoma we decided to drive all the way to Seattle. I drove and it was a killer five and a half to six hours, and finding our gaff, the Sixth Avenue Inn in downtown Seattle was a nightmare. We got loads of beers in the rooms and at around 11pm we decided to go to the hotel bar, it was locked and the porter sent us 2 blocks down the road to the Hurricane Cafe (best advice I may have ever had). It had old school shooting video games and a nice bar, Harry 'the barracuda' Savage starts talking to some girls at the bar, and the bartender came and told Penny and I that 'your mate has been hijacked by some strippers' needless to say we joined him shortly after. We had a few drinks and came to discover that one was a stripper (Sandra aka Mason, gorgeous), one was a lesbian, and the other we believe was transgender (can't remember names). Needless to say I sharked out Savage and got talking to Sandra and after a while invited them back to our room, we had more beers, Penny winged and chatted to their lesbian, the transgender passed out on my bed, Savage in his and I, ahem, had some fun chatting with Sandra :-). They all left at about 6.30am (sleepless in Seattle) and I was riding a high all day.
The Crime Scene
On Monday we slept very late and then went to the EMP (Experience music project) where we saw the Avatar interactive exhibition, the Jimi Hendrix: an evolution in sound, which was really cool. We then saw a Nirvana exhibition, the roots and branches exhibit, guitar gallery and battle star galactica exhibit. These were really cool and mostly interactive and I strongly recommend this place to any visitors. After these exhibits we went to the sound lab at the EMP and watched spoilt Americans let there kids dick around with the machines and not let people who give a shit on them. I eventually got on a guitar, and sucked....I just wanted a go on the goddam drums, is that so hard you goddam tourists.

We went down the boardwalk and then chilled at the room till sunset and went up the Space needle for Penny and Savage to take some artsy snaps at 520ft.





After this we went to the room for some beers with the idea of going out (Sandra wanted to meet up) but totally had to bail because I was soo tired from the previous night.

On Tuesday we decided we stay another night so rechecked in ($75 online, $160 if I'd done it in reception, WTF?). We walked over to Pikes Place Market and enjoyed an array of stalls from food to clothes and trinkets, I especially liked the fish mongers with King Salmon that were at least half the size of me.

We saw the originally Starbucks and I tried to buy a coffee but there is only one thing I hate more than the corporate machine its queueing so we didn't bother.

We then found a nice restaurant overlooking the Puget Sound called the Athenian Inn, which we later found out was in the film Sleepless in Seattle. I got the taste of the Northwest, dungeness crab cakes, Penn Cove Clams and grilled Salmon, in short it was superb. Over lunch we discussed the current riots in the UK, and Penny, who claimed to be an anarchist in Uni said 'I'd be out there with my camera taking pictures of the rioters, trying to get them sent down', looks like Penny has become a full blown socialist civilian (but still a Tory hater). In the evening after this we met two old colleagues of mine Chris and Dexter at the Redwood bar and regaled days of old over some cheap beer.

Later we met Sandra again at the Hurricane Cafe and stayed till close, again. Savage and Penny returned to the room while Sandra and I explored Seattle at night. We went for a walk down the boardwalk where it was windy but not overly cold and got to know each other better. After a while we returned to the room, watched a film and then talked until the sun came up for a second time. At ridiculous o'clock I kissed her goodbye at the taxi and attempted to get some sleep before check out.

After an hours sleep I grabbed a quick shower and we went for lunch at the Hurricane Cafe, the home of our debauchery and Penny drove us back while I slept (almost the whole way) which very unusual for me. We returned to Eugene and after a panicky Penny ran a red light we stopped off at Callies for the evening. We watched new Sons of Guns and One Man Army before crashing out.

Tuesday 16 August 2011

Not all who wander are lost

As the Oregon coast is ridiculously unfriendly to illegal parking we made our way onto Eugene and stayed with an old friend of mine, Callie and her boyfriend Carlos. In short Callie rocks, we haven't seen each other in four years and it was like we hadn't missed a beat and literally got down to drinking again. Eugene is a hippy town with a lot of counter culture and drugs and its just awesome. We went out to a few bars for spin the wheel drinks, $2 beers at starlight, John Henrys, Maxes (the bar the Moes is named after, Groening is from Oregon) and then 80's night. We got mashed up and Callies friend Lo and I walked home and although this was my first night in the state let alone Eugene, I kept telling her we were going the wrong way home. I woke up with plenty of UDI's (unexplained drinking injuries).


On Friday we woke up, played Mortal Combat on Sega Megadrive, I cut Pennys hair and then Callie, Kyle and Lo took Penny and I to Portland to meet Callies mother, which was an epic journey and also an insightful one. Prompting quotes like;

"Oregon, home of the loophole"
"Not all who wander are lost"

We met Callies mum at a bar, and you can tell Cal is an apple that doesn't fall far from the tree. We had a few cocktails and then went to dinner at the Irving Street Kitchen, it was very swanky (and expensive) but like the top lady she is, Callies mum paid for it all. You Rock! I had a steak that the little gay waiter described as 'obnoxiously good'. We finished off the dinner with gimlettes, which was sambuca and coffee, can't stand sambuca, but this was lovely (I may have been pissed).

We then went onto Henrys for drinks and Leanne (Callies mother, who can drink till the cows come home.....on motorbikes) insisted that I note this anecdote. A county Sheriff in Montana, Leannes home state (it may have been a relative but by this time I was wasted and couldn't write too well), found a body that had fallen into the lake in the fall (autumn) and was fished out in spring (spring) still frozen. They through the body in the back of a pick up and drove into town and got gas. When they returned from paying the attendant said that guy in the back doesn't say much, and the sheriff just said no, he doesn't and drove away.

Lo got cut off except for lite beer because she was soo wasted but her bro and other friends showed up and helped the drinks keep coming. I met a young lady and pulled her number, no names as apparently she has a man (very James Bond I know). We went to a nightclub called Hollow Scene and it fizzled out quickly so we went back to Callies friend Arias place and partied till late.
Lo looking rather spritely after getting cut off


On saturday we drove back to Eugene very hung over and Penny and Kyle got Savage while I napped, and he had been drinking. We then went down to the river and went swimming, according to Kyle it was a mile away, it was more like 3 miles and I let him know. Savage got naked in the river very quickly, I joined him but after some drunken Savage scullduggery, I got pissed and threw a bottle at his head.


Callie and Kyle were really accommodating so I gave them my Welsh flag, which I was meant to take to the world cup in September, but they are more than welcome to it, you guys rock. We then went out to the Whitaker block party and squeezed at least ten people into a taxi.

I had a Vegan Cheeses steak, listened to live music and had some beers but that Vegan food messed with me and I had to call it a night early and was pretty messed up for a few hours. The next day we were to continue North.

Sunday 14 August 2011

Roadtrippin the West Coast

So we arrived in beautiful San Francisco after a delayed flight due to cloud cover that didn't exist, we quickly picked up our Camper Van and took off into San Fran rush hour traffic but after a frustrating 45mins we made it past Fisherman's Wharf and set off on our travels across the Golden Gate Bridge which was a superb induction into our road trip. We then set off down the coastal route which was a series of stunning views and high windey roads and very nearly flipped our top heavy camper. We were on two wheels for a while but I managed to correct it, worst part was that I wasn't afraid or shocked, not heart racing and no desire to stop, it was more hey that was a no-no and carry on.
The Pioneer Brian



We stopped at an oyster restaurant in Tamales Bay called Nick's Cove, a very remote and beautiful location where you can have a stunning dinner and if you want rent a bayside suite for the night (I had to turn Penny down). The food was stunning, quite expensive but completely worth it.


After lunch Penny took the wheel for the first time in the USA, and it showed. It was a nervous start and I think I was more attentive to Penny's driving than I was when I was driving. Penny did develop into an adequate driver across the day, but it was still pretty nerve racking. We arrived at Fort Bragg, a small town that time forgot, just as the sun was going down, so we decided to see the beach as the sun may rise in the East at least it settles in a finer location.

It was absolutely stunning, what I imagine Valhalla looks like, the small bay in front of us was calm but you could hear distant waves breaking on the natural rock breakwaters out to sea. There was a crescent moon and a light sea fog that silhouetted the mountains on the headland, making them look like a mystical far off land. The occasional seagull flying low crying a familiar song, a boat in the distant with a solitary light that reminded me that was real, and we were there.

Penny then tried to park up the camper so we could sleep illegally but made a hash of it, very funny. We ate dinner in the camper and watched the end of The Hangover part 2 and Sucker Punch. On Wednesday we picked up some supplies and headed North (we do that a lot on this stretch of road). We saw the Chandler Tree, a drive thru redwood (our van didn't fit) and had lunch.

We then went through a town called Eureka and through several Tsunami Hazard areas before reaching the stunning Redwood National Park. We took Newton B Drag scenic route through a Redwood forest which was awesome, and then raced for the last non-fully booked camp site for 50 miles. Fortunately Mill Creek camping ground at the Del Norte coast Redwood State Park. On the way we crossed the Klammath Glen and saw whales 5 miles up river. When we arrived we built our BBQ, showered for the first time in 48hrs and  then (I don't know why after the shower) we went for a short hike in bear country, beer in hand. I came up with a fool proof way of defending yourself from a bear attack;
1 Remove shirt in an aggressive manner (always)
2 Pour beer over head to intimidate the beast
3 Scream at the bastard as if he has scored the goal that has relegated your side
4 Threaten the bears young via SMS and twitter
5 Challenge it to shotguns at dawn (they don't have opposable thumbs so they will suck)

We then cooked BBQ and went to a communal camp fire surprisingly drunk on several litres of wine, beer and Jim Beam, and then passed out.



We left early the next morning, passed through Crescent City and onto Jebidiah State Park and brushed our teeth next to the river. We then went on to hike around the park, saw some huge Redwoods and took the Hiochi trail down the river and crossed over the river at knee depth.










Penny and I discussed a Michelen Star picnic over lunch and then went for a swim.



We then cracked on to Oregon picked up some cheap supplies and stopped off at a few beauty spots called Lone Ranch Beach and Coquille Point.


More to follow