Really Bear Grilling it - Rare!

I was awoken very early by douchebags on motorbikes and we got up and set off for Lake Tahoe. We stopped at Reno (baby vegas) briefly to show Savage could have a look at the degenerate gambling scene and then onto South Tahoe to our aptly named site, Campground by the lake. We went for a walk, drank beer and watched the sun go down while the flies came out in their droves to see it away. I managed to get my first hot shower in days, a luxury I didn't think I would miss as much as I did. I stole Pennys clothes and towel when he was showering but on a guilt trip returned them (as we were in the middle of the family section). Kids (and their brain dead parents) felt it was ok to walk through the middle of our assigned site even though there was a path and a road and several free sites to cross which was unnerving (would have been worse for the Beano the child snatcher). We tried to reboil the dirty rice from the night before but as it was instant rice it turned it into a rice pudding gloop we wolfed down and drank and drank, and never talked about again. We watched new Torchwood and Futurama and an old episode of Doctor Who and then talked long and loudly into the night of sports and women conquests, or famous people we met (I dropped the whole Dr Who again and again). I then prepared for sleeping outside at 6200ft, head to toes in warm clothes. It was cold but my real issue was the hard ground.

I awoke from the night with a bad back and to the noise of kid playing next to my tent (thanks to mr and mrs terrible parents, again), however the first phrase I heard was a boy saying "I totally nailed colin, that's what im talking about." Needless to say it was a shooting game but funny all the same. Pen and I hit the shops and I got a meatloaf sandwich (very nice) and then we hit Regan beach and went for a dip in Lake Tahoe.

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At this altitude the water seemed cold but it was just the air and the water temperature was very pleasant, but it meant that when you're in you stay in. In the early afternoon we took a long walk to cross the Nevada state border (also at the lake) and went to Harrahs casino (opposite the one from Smokin Aces) before returning back, not buying Savages onion. I napped before dinner and the boys preped and cooked a pasta, bean and vegetable dish, which ended up glooping together into an unattractive stodge but it tasted ok. Savage meanwhile noted the irony of Penny losing his Pen (actually Savage lost it) plunging Penny into the alanis morissette paradox debate. I built a fire, which I enjoy doing and I'm getting good at, and then we played some cards and once again drank into the night.

My dreams were once again poisoned with epic action, deceit and violence which made my daily grind seem nullified and caused my sleep to become void as the toll of my exhaustion and adventure in my conscience denied me the opportunity to rest. Having been in Tahoe for a while I realised how expensive it was but then again it offered the town experience whilst 'camping'. Based by the daily turn over our camp site seemed like a stop on the to or from Yosemite. I find it eerie that I am going to the shops two or three times a day as I have nothing to do and despite my budget I am buying things for the sake of it, and then normally cant remember what I got. That's deeply laid consumerism. I spent the afternoon blogging then played poker ( I cleaned up) and hearts (I got destroyed). We had dinner, watched Dr Who and got wasted....again.

I slept a drunk mans sleep and paid the price with a very hung over morning. I had a long think about the future and it's weird but sometimes you have to travel halfway around the world to gain perspective and clarity of what you want at home. We went swimming and I lucked out by booking a campsite the next day at the very top of Yosemite National Park.

We had BBQ for dinner and then went skinny dipping, made more exciting by being just off the main road and fully lit. I tried to get an early night but couldn't sleep, which was made worse when Penny joined me in the camper and started his chainsaw snoring. At 5.30am I was woken by a half asleep Penny who was answering natures call and quickly jumped back in the van saying he'd seen a bear in the bin. It sounded unlikely but when I looked I saw a figure move away in the twighlight. Penny then eventually got to relieve his beer filled bladder but he took his stick for protection and i kept watch.....neither of us woke or warned savage who was outside in the tent.

The Pioneer Brian had died the day before so we got a jump from the helpful people at the camp. I asked them about bears in the area and they confirmed Pennys sighting but fortunately we were all on the same wavelength and no reported the bear for fear of it being shot. We headed onto Yosemite and saw an epic forest fire in Nevada, which looked like an exploding volcano from the distance.

We also saw some huge lakes and the sierra nevada mountain range still glistening with snow. The entrance to Yosemite was at 9945ft (3031m) and our campsite at Tuolumne meadows was just under 9000ft which find a very cold night for yours truly who chose to Bear Grills it in the tent in real bear country (the tracks are obvious and warnings sincere). With a sun setting we set off on the 2.3 mile hike to Lake Elizabeth, mostly uphill which was painful being unfit, fatigued and at altitude but we made it, and it was worth it.

We saw a pair of deer drinking from the river but as the sun started to really drop off the mosquitoes brought us back to the reality of camping in the wilderness. We played cards till late and stared into the camp fire for the much needed pre-bed warmth, and then hit the tent. The night turned out to be very cold but comfortable due to my DIY blanket cocoon.

I woke around 6am from camp noise and by 8.30am the boys were up and we were on our way to Yosemite valley. It was amazing, you can see why it's a UNESCO World Heritage sight, and they provided free shuttles around the park which was helpful but did encourage (American) laziness as a lot of the stops were less than 100 meters apart. We did the El Capitan and saw the largest granite monolith in the world. When we got back we walked to Yosemite falls (I site I had visited with my family in 1992, and hold fond memories of) and climbed the giant rockfall to the base plunge pool. Without hesitation I stripped off to my boxers and jumped in, I wasn't going to come to the base without swimming. The water was cold but very soon the adrenaline of fresh water swimming in yosemite falls kicked in and I was 'warm'. I was quickly joined in the fall by Penny and Savage, and we chose to lord it over the people to afraid to get in.

I had a quick nude change behind a rock (which turned out to be in full view of about twenty people) and we free-ran back down the rock fall, jumping from one huge boulder to another (I stacked it twice, but no damage). We later caught the bus around the rest of the park seeing the sentinel, the cathedral, the three brothers and the half dome (all rock formations about 2500ft big). Unfortunately when we got back the van had died again, this time my fault for leaving the lights on. I went to the nearby garage and they wanted $28 for the charge at least $50 for time and tax, no chance. Fortunately when I returned a good Samaritan from San Diego had jumped the Van for us. We took off and followed the Merced river out of the park and passed a landslide that had consumed our supposed road all the way to Merced, a Spanish town that I didn't care for, where we set about accommodation for the night. Nowhere would take us so we decided to drive to Santa Cruz and drive north till we found a deserted beach we could kip on. Enroute to Santa Cruz in a town called Gilroy Penny's friend Felix returned his message saying we could crash at his in Palo Alto thirty minutes South of San Fran, we very graciously accepted his offer and turned around. Palo Alto is an upmarket Uni town as it hosts a number of Stanford University and is also the living quarters for a number of Silicon Valley workers. When we arrived we parked up on the main street, changed in the van and did a lap of the strip before hitting Gordon Biersch, a microbrewery Felix had recommended. It was pricey but the booze was good. We moved on to Slider bar/cafe for cheap beer and mini burgers and after getting a bit pissed got the bartender to give us a word for Beano, translate Pervertido. When we left sliders I decided to dance in a closing Thai restaurant to the faux furiosity of the 4'8'' owner. We met Felix at a club and quickly transferred to an English pub called the Rose and Crown and met some of Felix's friends, I wore a girls jacket and ripped on some Lichtensteinien guy. We crashed at Felix's flat where I burned out quickly and welcomed sleep.

The next day was a simple hang over day, we showered, did laundry, had a good go on the tv and internet and got an early night, although once again I slept poorly.