The next day we played 'soccer' at midday in Miami heat.....it was my first run out since tearing my PCL and despite my lack of fitness and suffering in the heat, and lack of skills my knee held out pretty well. We then spent the late afternoon and evening at the beach before returning to Williams' gaff for some Beer Pong, I sucked until I got intoxicated for being rubbish and then cost Penny the title by whooping him in the last game, then drunkenly rubbed his nose in it.
Friday we went out to the Everglades and went fan boating looking for gators, something I have wanted to do for a very long time. It was very very hot and humid but a good laugh, and then we went on to see loads of reptiles at a sort of redneck petting zoo. I held a gator and then fed the chickens, birds, rabbits and ducks, and then witnessed a gator trying to eat a racoon drinking from the water (it failed). We followed this up by playing with puppies (dogs) at the pet store, and then ice cream and a quick trip to the beach, where we saw Sea Turtles nests and some super yachts before...more drinks and the first Introduction of International drinking rules.
Saturday we went to the big mall, it was huge but would have been better if we had some money or space in the bags to shop. Then we hit up the Hard Rock hotel and Casino and went to an alcohol slushy place called Wet Willies, and its not just a little booze, they are packed full of intoxicating goodness. Then for dinner we went to a Mexican chain called Azteca, it's not all you can eat but it might as well be, Penny and I shared a $12 platter, which literally is death by chimichanga,
Sunday was Mrs Williams birthday so we made breakfast and although the egg, cheese and bacon bagels were a roaring success my first attempt at french toast was a little bit of a disaster. Alishia said it tasted like french toast but aesthetically it looked worse than Colonel Gaddafi's holiday home on the Med. We then hit up Miami (bitch), it was oddly alluring which turned into nausea when you stayed longer than a few minutes. South beach was very sexy but also very superficial, basically if you want to pretend you are the business go to South beach, if you are the business take your boat to the Bahamas, simples! We then watched the USA women lose to Japan in the women's world cup (huge over here) and then went for a late swim. As a thunderstorm rolled in we decided to get out and go for a drink, walking back to the car a giant chunk of palm tree fell off and landed inches behind me. After this brush with death we decided to drink away the evening at the quarterdeck and get an early night because Monday, we're on a boat mf!
On Monday we rented a 21foot deck boat from just north of West Palm and had to race a bad shower down the inter-coastal.
Penny's Wallmart shorts ran and stained the seats so when asked to change he got naked. We decided to wait out the storm at a quayside restaurant and took in an early fish lunch, a bit pricey but was really good. As the storm was heading South we decided to turn back North and moored up at West Palm and had a look around. It was less pretentious than Miami but just as expensive, however a pro was less Jersey shore wannabes. We headed North again and anchored just off of Peanut Island and swam to the shore, it was a really nice small island where you can camp, picnic or party.
We did a lap of the island and saw a Black Chaser, no not a car chase in Croydon, it's a really fast snake, so (like Croydon) we got out of there sharpish. After some lunch and a few beers we headed North again and Captain Williams went over some rollers and my sunglasses are now making a Marlin look dashing at the bottom of the Atlantic. Williams then found a tiny deserted island with two really long sand bars and a beautiful white sand beach, where we spent the rest of the afternoon. We found a coconut that we named Willie Wilson Will Smith and played 'football' with, and then smashed. We had some cigars, some more food and beer and decided to name the site Penny Island turn the Island into a Tikki bar, Williams is still waiting on the bank loan to come through for this. Penny Island rules:-
1st RULE: You do not talk about PENNY ISLAND.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about PENNY ISLAND.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out their night is over.
4th RULE: Partying will go on as long as it has to.
5th RULE: If this is your first night at PENNY ISLAND, you HAVE to drink.
When we left Penny Island we gave Willie Wilson Will Smith a burial at sea and returned the boat, and hit the bar where Penny was threatened by a local, very funny!
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| Penny Island |
Tuesday we prepared to fly to Austin, Texas, and dicked around playing table tennis and making high alcohol milkshakes, Penny's first taste of Taco Bell and a few Beers at Duffy's before flying out.
Thank you to the Williams' for such amazing hospitality and for looking after us, Bluebirds!
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